tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62943072773204362972024-03-13T12:23:51.401-05:00S.P.L.A.S.H. ParentingParenting Blog that incorporates the ideas and techniques of Parenting Expert and Author, Dawn Lanterosplashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.comBlogger189125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-1388828793747846182024-01-07T16:05:00.000-06:002024-01-07T16:05:58.611-06:00The J O Y S of Grandparenting<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_VDKo9fzmlzpXRnRYB0KHYZbNNvqEdPbrrAHX_pqmL91RZ7IfKxW8M1-VBvDEc8lCVfN2dECx5pOC__A8RccYfQlOXNIuB24TF3qISZuxrn1r-R1hyphenhyphenfQfl4DZhYcPHRc5-rQ7zuYKPnaH6lRjx3dxQ7ia7jUMsfQ1UVsF6p7YeYXE0Ct0j03Jj-1ablQH/s4032/IMG_1825.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_VDKo9fzmlzpXRnRYB0KHYZbNNvqEdPbrrAHX_pqmL91RZ7IfKxW8M1-VBvDEc8lCVfN2dECx5pOC__A8RccYfQlOXNIuB24TF3qISZuxrn1r-R1hyphenhyphenfQfl4DZhYcPHRc5-rQ7zuYKPnaH6lRjx3dxQ7ia7jUMsfQ1UVsF6p7YeYXE0Ct0j03Jj-1ablQH/w316-h334/IMG_1825.jpeg" width="316" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I have transitioned from a parent to a grandparent in the last few years. The happiness that my three grandsons bring me is unparalleled! I delight in their tiny toes, warm, soft hands, wispy hair, baby teeth smiles and belly laughs. Everything they do is simply amazing. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Because I am in a new life stage, my S.P.L.A.S.H. Parenting days are also coming to a close. I have spent years encouraging, advising, and supporting parents as they navigate the ever changing landscape of parenting little ones. My S.P.L.A.S.H. Parenting Principles of Structure, Patience, Love, Autonomy, Spirituality and Humor are timeless themes for any parent, but my own days of presenting are over because I have moved into a new era of being a Grandma. And what a delightful era it is. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The lessons I have learned in the new space are briefly translated as pure JOY.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">J--Just say yes if you are asked to spend time with your grandchildren and you are able to.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">O--Only allow every minute spent with them to be full of giggles and playtime and fun.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Y--Your viewpoints on parenting are only given when asked for--because the torch has been passed. Your grandbabies have the wonderful parents of their own. Your role is to love and support. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So if you are like me, and find yourself blessed to be someone's Grandma--embrace the JOY!</div><br /> <p></p>splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-69107388475882160992021-11-22T12:25:00.006-06:002021-11-22T12:27:25.309-06:00Warning--Preschoolers in Crisis<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-O-TF35FiiUA/YZvcAaBORII/AAAAAAAAEAY/Xyuh6ZEsSe8vsSZ2Kf9txIRn1ZAPoRGZgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/5D4A43C4-6B59-4A97-82C4-51E0E6E6412E.heic" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-O-TF35FiiUA/YZvcAaBORII/AAAAAAAAEAY/Xyuh6ZEsSe8vsSZ2Kf9txIRn1ZAPoRGZgCLcBGAsYHQ/w300-h400/5D4A43C4-6B59-4A97-82C4-51E0E6E6412E.heic" width="300" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>I have taught preschool for over a dozen years and raised four children of my own. We all are born with gifts and talents, and mine happen to be firmly planted in understanding and relating to young children. I love reading books to them, playing games with them, helping them to discover new things, and generally being in their presence. </p><p>The preschool I worked in before the pandemic was a joyful place. The children were eager to learn, eager to socialize, eager to make friends and discover new things. Behavior problems were an afterthought. Occasionally my assistant or I would need to redirect a child who was not playing nicely with others, or comfort a child who came in to the classroom feeling sad. Tears in the morning only lasted a minute or two. But in general, we spent only a tiny fraction of our day responding to negative behaviors. </p><p>I recently re-entered the preschool classroom and found it to be a completely different setting--and it has me <b>seriously concerned!</b> I witnessed children who were socially and academically far behind where children of a similar age were in the Spring of 2020. I witnessed children who were filled with uncontrollable rage and children with a seemingly complete lack of empathy. The children were far less interested in making friends and their self interest was the driving force of most of their interactions. They exhibited much less self control and generally seemed so much less happy or content than pre-pandemic.</p><p>In the 6 weeks that I was there to observe a three and four year old classroom, I had not one, but two students who when feeling angry would proceed to violently wreck the classroom--pushing chairs over, grabbing baskets of markers and pencils to throw across the room, trying to actively kick and hit other classmates and teachers who were trying to restrain them. I saw children unable to sit and listen to a short simple story--one that was at a level far beneath what I was reading to my pre-pandemic class. I found children who showed little curiosity for novel information, and had little or no interest in listening to the spoken word. </p><p>Games, songs and books that used to make little ones giggle or smile with delight, fell on deaf ears--these little ones exhibited much less joy. And it has me worried! I follow other preschool teacher websites and message boards and I know for a fact that my observations are being seen and heard and felt all across the country as other preschool teachers are struggling.</p><p>What is going on? Why are our littlest learners struggling so very much? Is this the result of overwrought parents? Is this the result of parents who are just trying to survive--working from home and willing to let the little ones do whatever it takes to keep them quiet? Are the mental health struggles of adults being mirrored by the children? Why are a little ones lacking any self control? Why are they lacking motivation to learn and discover? Why are they filled with anger? Why are they lacking empathy?</p><p>I know that little ones learn what they live. I firmly believe our family lives are in crisis and the smallest among us are paying the price. </p><p>PARENTS--YOU NEED TO STEP UP! YOU NEED TO BE THERE FOR YOUR LITTLE ONES! YOU ARE THERE MOST IMPORTANT TEACHERS! YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON GIVING THEM LOVE AND ATTENTION--AND ALSO TEACH THEM SELF CONTROL! </p><p>Do you read to them?</p><p>Do you eat meals together?</p><p>Do you talk to them?</p><p>Do you play with them? </p><p>I am beginning to wonder what is really going on in most households. </p><p>Your child needs you. Please, please, please take notice. If you are struggling, get help so that you can be the parent you were meant to be. Your and your child deserve your best self!</p>splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-83809214242580255522021-08-18T12:50:00.003-05:002021-08-18T12:55:47.447-05:00Family Decision Making<p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: x-large;">The Four "F's" of Family Decisions</span></h2><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: x-small;">A decision making framework outlined in The New York Times: "<u>A Smarter Way to Make Decisions About Your Kids</u>", July 31, 2021, Dr. Emily Oster,</span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: x-large;">Frame the Question:</span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white;">(What specific question are you trying to answer)</span></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: white;">Fact Find:</span></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white;">(Investigate all relevant information through multiple sources)</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: x-large;">Final Decision:</span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;">(Set a Decision Date, Analyze all facts, family input, and family priorities and decide)</span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: x-large;">Follow Up:</span></div><div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;">(If needed, set a follow up date to revisit, review and revise if necessary)</span></div>splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-64339071930372987952021-05-21T16:46:00.005-05:002021-05-21T16:46:45.681-05:00Early Clues in Childhood<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TRAn6aW7brU/YKgpc95TbbI/AAAAAAAAD8A/J3jcObmBHg8PxvdFei7P_cxDh_UcIPPYACLcBGAsYHQ/s474/c1d2ca860f0108fcf5ced4049ea30910.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="474" data-original-width="474" height="323" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TRAn6aW7brU/YKgpc95TbbI/AAAAAAAAD8A/J3jcObmBHg8PxvdFei7P_cxDh_UcIPPYACLcBGAsYHQ/w323-h323/c1d2ca860f0108fcf5ced4049ea30910.jpg" width="323" /></a></div><br /> My daughter is graduating from Law School tomorrow. I am a proud mama for many reasons. She had a successful and rewarding career going in Washington DC but she listened to her inner voice that was urging her to make a change. She uprooted herself from the life and friends and all the experiences she had amassed in her post college years to take a leap of faith and follow her intuition where it was leading her--to study law. <p></p><p>Her courage and bravery to leave the familiar and jump in to the unknown fills me with pride. And while she was in law school, she not only studied but put herself out there--becoming President of the American Constitution Society on campus and organizing some incredible events, writing opinion pieces for the campus newspaper, and even winning a few different writing prizes during her short three years.</p><p>When she was a little girl, she loved all everything to do with history. She loved learning about the Presidents. She asked Santa for poster of them in first grade! Her passion for history and love of learning has carried her through these three years, and almost made them look easy! Which I know they were not.</p><p>Tomorrow we are so thankful to go to the outdoor ceremony and watch her graduate in a field she always had a passion for. She is ready to change the world as a fair minded and compassionate lawyer--and her mother couldn't be more proud to watch it happen!</p>splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-8172795798480049102020-06-03T10:08:00.000-05:002020-06-03T10:10:27.518-05:00Children Are Not Born Racist<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Young children are accepting and open. Young children are curious and loving. Young children are welcoming and inclusive. Parents: Let's take our cues from them.splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-72817713375408394202020-05-01T11:12:00.000-05:002020-05-01T11:12:21.645-05:00Parents: Your Children are Taking Notes<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-6296493423102315561" itemprop="articleBody" style="background-color: white; color: #636363; font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 528px;">
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<span style="font-size: 14.85px;">I cannot write a post today, without thinking of the millions of people affected by Covid-19 and the ramifications from this pandemic. Parents who are juggling online work, parents who are out of work, parents who are being called upon to become sole teacher, coach, cook, and care giver to children at home. Parents who are worried about paying their bills and making ends meet in the face of the economic downturn. Parents who are isolated from their normal support system--friends, family, grandparents, teachers, and religious leaders. And the true heroes--parents who are and have been on the frontlines, continuing to work for all of us and return home to children with worry in their hearts about bringing the dreaded illness into their own homes and back to their own family members.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.85px;">These days have not been easy. The past month and a half has changed our lives and turned our normal routines upside down. So what is the message for parents who are dealing with all of these hardships?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14.85px;">Remember your children are watching. During times of stress and disappointment: your children are watching. When you feel and anger, fear and helplessness: your children are watching. When you take your stress out on your husband, wife or neighbor: your children are watching.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14.85px;">But they also are watching when you stay positive. When you wake up with a smile on your face. When you help them to carry on when they are struggling. When you make a plan and stick to it. </span></div>
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Children get their cues on how to behave from you. So if you are stressed, overwrought, angry or depressed, you can expect the same from them. This can be your finest hour of parenting or your worst. The choice is yours.<br />
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During times of difficulty, choose to rise above the situation. Choose to be the parent who can smile in the face of adversity. Choose to be the neighbor who is reaching out to comfort others. Choose to lend a hand, or a meal or a kind word to those who have more struggles than you. Choose to be the person who creates a feeling of warmth and calm in the midst of frustration and chaos.<br />
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You will be teaching your children such a POWERFUL message. Everything will be fine. Everything will eventually be normal again. And while things are not how you would like them to be, you are able to choose to make the best of it--for you, for your family, for your neighbors, for your community, and for our future!<br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples" style="color: #76b2d1;">facebook: SplashParentingPrinciples</a><br />
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<span class="post-author vcard" style="margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 1em;">Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"><span itemprop="name" style="color: #76b2d1; text-decoration-line: none;"><a class="g-profile" data-gapiattached="true" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://plus.google.com/114762607840524931950" rel="author" style="color: #76b2d1;" title="author profile">Dawn L</a>antero</span></span></span></div>
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splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-39365997734459110602020-03-27T10:28:00.000-05:002020-03-27T14:02:15.035-05:00Corona Virus = Boredom For Your Kids!<br />
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The United States is dealing with a pandemic and most of us are finding ourselves "sheltered in place". School is cancelled and our children are home and probably for many of them, this is their first taste of boredom--in their entire lives. <b>Boredom can put them on a treasure hunt for creativity and inspiration. </b> Many children have online learning tasks, but what else can they do--when the school work is done, but they can't go hang with their friends? Here is a list of things that might inspire your children during these unusual circumstances:<br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><b>MUSIC:</b></span><br />
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<li><span style="color: blue;"><b>CHALLENGE THEM TO WRITE A SONG</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><b>HAVE THEM LIP SYNC TO MUSIC THEY FIND ONLINE</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><b>ASK THEM TO PUT TOGETHER A PLAY LIST THAT IS TIED TO AN ACTIVITY--LIKE CLEANING THE HOUSE OR STUDYING OR ROAD TRIPS</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><b>HAVE THEM MAKE UP A DANCE TO A FAVORITE SONG AND RECORD THEM PERFORMING IT</b></span></li>
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<span style="color: red;"><b>COMMUNITY OUTREACH:</b></span></div>
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<li><span style="color: red;"><b>WRITE NOTES OR CARDS FOR NEARBY RETIREMENT CENTERS</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: red;"><b>COLLECT ALL THE POCKET CHANGE THEY CAN FIND AROUND YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE A DONATION TO A FOOD PANTRY</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: red;"><b>MAKE POSTERS OF HOPE AND KINDNESS TO DISPLAY IN YOUR WINDOWS</b></span></li>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>FAMILY CONNECTION:</b></span></div>
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<li><span style="color: orange;"><b>HAVE THEM FACETIME OR SKYPE WITH AN OUT OF STATE RELATIVE</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: orange;"><b>WRITE, DRAW OR SING A GREETING TO SENT TO A FAMILY MEMBER</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: orange;"><b>SET UP AN ONLINE MEETING WITH COUSINS OR EXTENDED FAMILY GROUP</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: orange;"><b>PLAY ONLINE GAMES WITH EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBERS</b></span></li>
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>BAKING/COOKING</b></span></div>
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<li><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>GIVE THEM COOK BOOKS TO READ</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>ENCOURAGE THEM TO CHOOSE A COOKING SHOW SERIES TO WATCH</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>ALLOW THEM TO BAKE SOMETHING OF THEIR CHOOSING</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>CHALLENGE THEM TO COOK AN ENTIRE DINNER FOR THE FAMILY</b></span></li>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b>ART</b></span></div>
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<li><span style="color: blue;"><b>FIND ART MATERIALS AND ENCOURAGE AN ART PROJECT</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><b>FIND ITEMS IN YOUR HOME LIKE VASES OR FLOWER POTS THAT THEY CAN PAINT OR DECORATE WITH MOSAIC ART</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><b>CHALLENGE THEM TO CREATE A COLLAGE FROM MAGAZINES, CATALOGUES, NEWSPAPERS</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><b>TAKE THE TIME TO TEACH THEM TO KNIT OR CROCHET OR SEW--OR LOOK FOR TUTORIALS ONLINE</b></span></li>
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<span style="color: lime;"><b>ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE</b></span></div>
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<li><span style="color: lime;"><b>ENCOURAGE THEM TO DO SOME YARD WORK</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: lime;"><b>HAVE THEM PLAN A GARDEN-FOR FUTURE PLANTING</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: lime;"><b>REPOT PLANTS</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: lime;"><b>START A SEEDLING FROM FOOD LIKE POTATOES OR ONIONS OR AVOCADO</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: lime;"><b>TAKE SOME CUTTINGS OF SPRING BUSHES AND FORCE THE BLOOMS INSIDE</b></span></li>
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This crazy time will come to an end, but maybe the interests your children develop during the mandated down time can blossom into a life long passion. Every challenge is an opportunity in disguise. Sending love and encouragement to all of the families facing these challenges right now. Be kind and good to one another!</div>
splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-44328931614894640152020-03-13T15:15:00.000-05:002020-03-14T12:59:49.117-05:00What do Parents do during Corona Virus Shut Downs?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Okay. Schools are closing and the kids are going to be home. Parents are going to be working from home. This unexpected set of circumstances is shocking--to say the least. So what are parents to do? If panic is setting in I have a few suggestions:</div>
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Breathe. Take another deep breath. You have the mental capacity to choose your reaction. Your children are watching. Choose a positive reaction to an inconvenient set of circumstances.</div>
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Face the upcoming days with optimism. See this temporary slow down as a gift to your family.<br />
Set a schedule for school days. It is comforting for children to know what to expect. Let them know you are going to follow a schedule that includes time for learning, time for working, time for playing and time for resting.Take these coming days as a gift to family life. Here is a list of activities you might want to incorporate into your action plan and add to your schedule:</div>
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<li>Cook a special meal</li>
<li>Make slime or play dough (recipes on pinterest)</li>
<li>Build a birdhouse </li>
<li>Create with legos</li>
<li>Play board games</li>
<li>Sketch</li>
<li>Paint</li>
<li>Knit</li>
<li>Sew</li>
<li>Watch movies/tv shows</li>
<li>Clean closets or drawers (and donate to local charities)</li>
<li>Print photos and create scrapbooks</li>
<li>Call grandparents</li>
<li>Bathe your pets</li>
<li>Write letters or create cards and mail them to friends/relatives</li>
<li>Bake brownies</li>
<li>Wash your bicycles or toys</li>
<li>Snuggle up and read together</li>
<li>Put on fun music and dance</li>
<li>Take a walk</li>
<li>Start a puzzle</li>
<li>Above all--Enjoy this gift of time with your loved ones. We will get through this, so let's all try our best to make the best of this unique situation!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-73978153551459272302019-10-17T18:31:00.000-05:002019-12-01T12:13:16.928-06:00Letting the Animals Run the Circus...<br />
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I have been a preschool teacher for a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time--almost a dozen years. My first students are in high school now, and I am still at it. And before jumping into the profession I dearly love, I was busy raising my (and my husband's) own four children. So as you can guess, I have had a lot of time to study, observe, and reflect on children.<br />
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My husband and I decided early on that we would not allow our little monkeys to rule the roost. We enforced bedtimes and a code of behavior that included no back talking, no physical violence, and in general a helpful attitude. We didn't always succeed at this but the love and respect grew over the years of effort, and the chores always got done before bedtime. No excuses.<br />
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As a preschool teacher, I find my students bright, engaging, funny, caring, sweet, and impossibly cute most of the time. I enjoy each and every minute that I get to share with them. I marvel at their triumphs (like coming to school sans blankie--when the first week we had a hard time putting blankie down to do anything). I swoon when they are willingly kind to each other -- sharing a toy or a turn with another classmate. I praise their paintings and block towers, and gladly help them put on their coats or wash their hands. They are amazingly capable and enthusiastic learners with kind and loving hearts.<br />
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So here is my struggle these days...PARENTS! My littles are blessed with loving and devoted parents. So what is the struggle, you ask? My preschool parents either have no energy or no knowledge of how to PARENT their children. The ringmasters have left the tent, and the monkeys are running wild.<br />
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They leave it all up to me. Do they teach them manners? Nope. I do. Do they teach them to follow instructions? Nope. I do. Do they even require them to look up when they hear their name? Nope. I do. And the list goes on and on. The bar is so low on the behavior that they accept, that it all falls to us in the classroom to corral and wrangle these little ones into a semblance of order.<br />
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We could never allow our preschool class of over a dozen children to run wild and do what ever they want every second of the day. Children would get hurt, the noise level would be frightening, and the environment would prove impossible for any sort of learning. But I am quite sure that many of my families allow this at home. This lack of parenting in the long term will be a detriment to these children. Children who grow up lacking all boundaries continually seek boundaries. Boundaries show a child who is in charge, which in turn make children feel safe and secure. Children raised without any boundaries or respect for their parents, have a higher likelihood to be depressed or indulge in risky behaviors in their later years. The research to prove this has been done, and I personally have seen it in my many years.<br />
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I wish I could figure out where this laissez-faire attitude towards parenting is coming from. These are parents who are by all accounts well-equipped. They are married, educated, and financially secure. They are lovely people. They are involved and helpful. But they don't seem to have the stomach or drive or backbone to parent. They cannot find the strength to make their children listen to them. They seem frightened of the result of being an authority in their children's lives. They seem to duck and cover rather than expecting that their child(ren) listen to them or follow any code of behavior. I am mystified.<br />
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When did parenting stop being a verb? Where have all the ringmasters gone? <br />
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I know parenting can be daunting, but that's why it's important start small. Expect a child to listen when her name is called. Have him make his bed every morning. Give them real consequences if they don't listen but also give real praise for what they accomplish. Have simple expectations of your children and their behavior. This will help them through the years. I promise it will.<br />
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And it may just keep me teaching preschool.splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-61876264116744563912019-04-30T22:11:00.000-05:002019-05-09T14:18:46.201-05:00<b id="docs-internal-guid-f187f01f-7fff-f6cc-5b74-207a8d5aa11e" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">What Every Working Mom Needs to Know</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">There’s no question moms have a stressful lifestyle. Surveys </span><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/05/upshot/stressed-tired-rushed-a-portrait-of-the-modern-family.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">confirm it</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">American families report being very busy these days, with moms still </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">handling the majority of the housework, even when both parents work</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> full time.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That’s why self-care is so important. You certainly can’t tend to other</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">people’s needs if you never set aside time to address your own.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">These tips will help you do so. Even if you have a busy life, you can use</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> them to make self-care part of it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Schedule It</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Self-care must be a priority, and you should treat it like any other daily</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">responsibility. By scheduling self-care, you’ll remind yourself this is an</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">important task, and not a mere luxury.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Get the Kids Involved</span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Busy moms lack the time for self-care for many reasons. A major one is </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">simply the fact that so much of their time is spent with their children.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Luckily, there are ways to enjoy self-care with the kids. Working out? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Try having your little ones join you. This helps you fit a workout into </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">your schedule while also promoting a healthy lifestyle for your children.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Or, maybe your idea of self-care involves enjoying a good meal. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Getting the kids involved when making dinner, especially </span></div>
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<a href="http://yumblekids.com/healthy-meals-for-kids/vegetarian-meals-for-kids/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">healthy kids meals</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">, will go a long way it. As they get older,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> they may be so experienced in the kitchen that they can handle </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">certain cooking tasks without you even asking for help.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Combine Enjoyable Activities</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Working out is a key aspect of self-care. Exercising regularly </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">boosts both your </span><a href="https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-benefits-of-exercise" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">physical and mental well-being</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">.</span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">However, self-care should also involve participating in activities you</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> find enjoyable. Find time for both in your schedule by combining </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">them. Although you may have to try a few different activities before </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">finding one you genuinely enjoy, there are many ways to exercise </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">while also having fun. Try options like yoga, dance classes, walks with </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">friends, and any other type of physical activity that sounds appealing </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">until you find one that fits your tastes and lifestyle.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Wake up Earlier</span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">While you do need to get proper sleep to </span><a href="https://www.everydayhealth.com/sleep-disorders/sleep/sleep-101-ultimate-guide-on-how-get-better-nights-sleep/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">stay healthy</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">, that doesn’t mean </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">there’s any harm in waking up a little earlier than you normally do. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Busy moms often find the best time for self-care is in the morning, before </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">anyone else is awake. </span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">This is particularly worth keeping in mind if you enjoy the types of </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">self-care activities that require silence. Meditating or reading a book </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">can be tough when the kids are up and about.</span></div>
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<div style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Find Substitute Activities</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">It is important to be realistic about self-care. When you become a </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">mother, some of the activities you once enjoyed may not be </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">practical anymore. You simply may not have the time or money </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">for them.</span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That said, don’t make the mistake of assuming you have to do </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">without those types of activities entirely. You can still find ways </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">to modify them for your new lifestyle.</span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">For example, maybe a day of self-care used to involve shopping </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">for a few hours before enjoying a nice dinner at your favorite </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">restaurant. With a mom’s schedule and budget, that may no longer </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">be a regular option. However, you could still spend a day doing a little </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">online shopping, prioritizing getting one item you truly want instead </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">of several in order to save money. Rather than going to a restaurant, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">treat yourself to your favorite meal at home. Maybe you can even </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">convince your spouse to make it!</span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Is it the exact same experience as your old self-care routine? No, but it </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">can be a satisfying substitute.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Most importantly, remember that you’re only human. A busy mother </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">is expected to do quite a bit for others every single day. Don’t forget </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">how important it is to take care of yourself as well.</span></div>
splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-37826110109586845012018-02-08T13:12:00.001-06:002021-06-22T11:02:34.398-05:00They're just looking for some FUN!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Children love to experience new things. When they experience new things, they love to talk about them. I see this everyday at preschool. My little ones are bursting with excitement when we do something new, or introduce a new toy or activity to our classroom. And they love to tell me all about the new or different things they have experienced at home. </div>
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I remember teaching a student who never had anything to talk about at sharing time except his experience playing Minecraft. Over and over again, when the other little ones were recounting a visit to the zoo, or a movie they had seen, or a playdate they had enjoyed; this little guy would offer up his gaming experiences. The other children had a hard time relating to him, because they were not as familiar with his game. And he had a difficult time relating to them, because on some level I know he felt as if he had missed out. He had not been to the zoo, read books from the library, played at the park. I felt so sorry for this boy. He had two loving and successful parents, but they had fallen into a pattern of allowing their son to play on an i-pad for hours on end. It was sad to think about all the time this little boy had spent doing this one activity while his young brain was being developed--and all the experiences he could have been having if the game was not part of his daily routine.</div>
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Each time you introduce your child to something new, you are growing their brain! You are introducing new concepts to them. You are helping them experience the world around them. Children love this and NEED this. We live in a time where children can be put to the side on devices, and be completely cut off from real world experiences. To me, this is a form of child abuse. Children need real world experiences and it is our responsibility as parents and teachers to make sure that they are exposed to new and different activities and environments.<br />
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So please, put down your phone. Close up your tablet. Power off your computer and go play with your child. Give your child the gift of new experiences--and have some fun, together!<br />
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<br />splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-51817133163961748762017-09-08T10:01:00.023-05:002022-10-03T15:23:09.144-05:00Parenting in the Aftermath--Your children are watching<div class="date-outer" style="background-color: #449fce; color: #636363; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5px;">
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<span style="font-size: 14.85px;">I cannot write a post today, without thinking of the millions of people affected by the recent hurricanes, both super storms that are causing pain and grief to millions of people in their paths. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the individuals who are dealing with the destruction and massive cleanup that faces them in the coming days.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.85px;">To the families that are facing days without power and the tough job of cleaning up homes, businesses and communities, I say to you: Remember your children are watching. During times of stress and disappointment: your children are watching. When you feel and anger, fear and helplessness: your children are watching. When you take your stress out on your husband, wife or neighbor: your children are watching.</span></div>
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<br />Children get their cues on how to behave from you. So if you are stressed, overwrought, angry or depressed, you can expect the same from them. This can be your finest hour of parenting or your worst. The choice is yours.<br /><br />During times of difficulty, choose to rise above the situation. Choose to be the parent who can smile in the face of adversity. Choose to be the neighbor who is reaching out to comfort others. Choose to lend a hand, or a meal or a kind word to those who were hit harder than you. Choose to be the person who creates a feeling of warmth and calm in the midst of frustration and chaos.<br /><br />You will be teaching your children such a POWERFUL message. Everything will be fine. Everything will eventually be normal again. And while things are not how you would like them to be, you are able to choose to make the best of it--for you, for your family, for your neighbors, and for future generations! The challenge is great--but remember you are shaping the future of your children's response to heartbreak and disappointment. Be their guiding light.<br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples" style="color: #76b2d1; text-decoration-line: none;">facebook: SplashParentingPrinciples</a><div style="clear: both;">
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splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-21640525778951585602017-04-06T12:45:00.001-05:002017-04-06T12:45:23.362-05:00Five Simple Ways to Teach Gratitude<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I was so lucky to attend a Cubs Spring Training Game last week. The weather was beautiful in sunny Arizona. The Cubs didn't disappoint either, hitting home runs and making incredible defensive plays. It was a beautiful afternoon and I was so thankful to be there with my husband. There were families sitting near us, and the children in those families didn't share my sentiments. <br />
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First, let me explain that we had splurged on excellent seats. We were in the second row, directly behind the Cubs dugout. Seated both in front of us and behind us were two families. The family in the first row was a dad and his two young boys (around 6 and 8 years old). The dad spent the game leaving his seat to buy the two boys shirts, nachos (which ended up uneaten on the ground), and finally ice cream. The older boy threw a fit because his dad did not bring him the flavor of ice cream that he wanted. He ranted and raved at the dad, and dad <b>apologized over and over again</b>. Near the end of the game, they left and left the new shirts in their bag on the ground. Keep in mind, these boys were in FRONT ROW SEATS! They had better seats than anyone else at the game. This idea was clearly not brought to their attention.<br />
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Behind us was a family with older children. Mom left this family near the end of the game to buy cotton candy for her middle school age daughter. She was gone a long time. When she returned, she told her daughter that she waited in a very long line and when she finally got to the front, they were all out of cotton candy. The daughter got very upset and began throwing a fit that her mom didn't try another counter or find the cotton candy that she wanted. As a side note, this family had already enjoyed a complete lunch, when Mom had gone and gotten burgers and fries and drinks for the family.But once again, Mom felt guilty and <b>apologized over and over again.</b><br />
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<b>We need to do better, parents!!!! </b>If we don't teach our children to appreciate the things we give them, then why are we surprised when they grow up to be entitled, unhappy and ungrateful. Why were these parents apologizing to their kids, in the midst of giving their children such a wonderful experience? I found it difficult to hold my tongue and listen to these apologetic parents, while their children sat in the best seats in the entire stadium. Thousands of other people were less fortunate than these families but clearly this lesson was lost on the children. Where is the active teaching of thankfulness and appreciation? Here are some suggestions to help teach these important lessons to our kids, so that we as parents can develop empathy and appreciation in our children.<br />
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1. <b>Model Thankful Behavior</b>: Kids learn what they live. Show them you appreciate things in your life by thanking your spouse, children and others when they give you something or make you feel happy.<br />
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2. <b>Pray</b>: Say a prayer of thankfulness before meals or before bedtime with your children. This practice of thinking outside one's self is an amazing way to pass on the lesson of being grateful for simple things like food, a warm house, a comfy bed, our loved ones, etc.<br />
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3. <b>Help Others</b>: Nothing breeds gratefulness like the realization that everyone doesn't have what you have. Donate food to a food pantry and discuss with your children that some don't have enough to eat. Donate clothes to a charity and discuss that some children don't get new clothes. You get the idea. Generous people are grateful people.<br />
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4. <b>Teach Polite Words</b>: Start when your children are small, requiring them to use polite words. Expect them to ask for things with polite words "Please may I have" and regularly use "thank you" when they receive something. Remind them that at birthday celebrations and other gift centered times, each gift requires a verbal thank you.<br />
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5. <b>Write Thank You Notes</b>: Teaching children to send thank you notes helps them acknowledge that they appreciate a gift. This is a wonderful exercise in appreciation, and a skill they will need through out their lives.<br />
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These five tips will go a long way in helping your children realize the blessings in their lives. Small lessons over time make a huge difference. Embrace thankfulness in your own heart and life, and see it spill over into the attitude of your entire family.<br />
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<a href="http://www.purewow.com/family/how-to-teach-kids-gratitude" target="_blank">For more ideas go to this helpful post:http://www.purewow.com/family/how-to-teach-kids-gratitude</a><br />
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<b><br /></b>splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-3573846766615166582016-08-15T09:52:00.000-05:002016-08-15T09:52:27.414-05:00Pull Back To Allow Your Child's Growth<br />
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I had asked my son (who is 21 years old) to renew his passport this summer. He was home on Summer break from college, and was attending two summer school classes and doing odd jobs--so I knew he had some responsibilities in addition to this request, but last week as he prepared to return to college this task remained unfinished. I had reminded him multiple times throughout the summer but to no avail. <br />
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Two days before he was to leave he began asking me questions about what to do and how to accomplish this task. Needless to say, I was a little frustrated. But I made a conscious decision to hold back. I did not jump in to help him figure the process out. I did not run and find his birth certificate as he requested. I told him where to look for the documents and tried to refrain from answering any of his questions. All of this did not come easily to me especially as he became angry at my hands off approach. The frustrated parent in me wanted to just handle this myself. But a little voice inside of my brain kept urging me to stay out of the process and let him figure this out on his own.<br />
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Did I mention he was leaving for college in two days? Did I mention the mother's guilt that kicked in, when I thought about how I would not be seeing him for the next few months? This whole situation was as much a struggle for me as it was for him...but I stayed strong. I left it all to him--and he got it done. <br />
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This situation is an example of how difficult it can be as a parent to allow our children to grow. Although Michael is not a child any more, I can remember other times in the years when my four children were at home that my husband and I consciously pulled back to allow them to grow. <br />
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What ways do you allow your children to grow? Do you have them do chores in your home? Do you ask your 'tweens to babysit their younger siblings, or pick up the phone and order a pizza for your family's dinner? Do you have your little ones clean up their toys or practice good manners while visiting someone's home? Growth only happens when parents take the time to pull back and encourage their child to take ownership of his/her own behavior. It is a constant challenge for a loving parent to know when to hold back and allow your child to step up. <br />
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At the beginning of the school year, my preschool students often are scared to leave their moms and dads at the door and come into the classroom, but with a final hug goodbye--we encourage the parents to go, as we assure them that we will call if their child is inconsolable. This exercise is often more difficult on the parent than the child. <br />
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So Parents, please remember to hold back because: <b>every new experience is an opportunity for growth</b>. And this is a parenting skill you will be practicing for many years to come!<br />
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Want more parenting encouragement? Like my facebook page at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples" target="_blank">facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples</a><span id="goog_614010631"></span><span id="goog_614010632"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/"></a>splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-55323994524140632552016-07-13T11:41:00.002-05:002016-07-13T11:43:25.613-05:00Houses and Families Require Solid Investments in the Future<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When you purchase a house, usually you take out a mortgage. Getting a mortgage requires you to decide how long of a period you are going to agree to in order to pay off the loan. Mortgages are one of the times in life we are forced to face the future.<br />
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Unfortunately, with parenting we are not required to think about the future and and often we parents get so caught up in the day to day that we fail miserably at looking at the long term. Every parent knows that starting from the day that your baby is born, he/she requires a lot of work. It can feel overwhelming at times, and is doubly hard as a single parent to put forth the effort each and every day to be a strong and effective parent. But lately, I have observed in many different settings a disturbing trend of parents who seem to have given up. I can't help myself, but I am an observer of family dynamics. And for whatever reason, in the last few weeks I have observed parents completely ignoring the behavior of their children, when the children were crying out for attention. This type of parenting is likely to have long term effects. I wonder if parents have heard so much negative buzz about "helicopter" parenting that they think that ignoring their children is a better path. Let me assure you--it is equally wrong to ignore your children and their behavior as it is to over manage and interfere with them at every turn.<br />
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Children need you to observe and monitor them. As they get older they generally need less minute by minute parenting--but it is not good parenting to completely ignore them and their behavior. Children need to be taught by their parents the standards of behavior required in different settings--a restaurant, a religious service, or a social gathering all require different sets of polite behaviors that children are not born knowing about. It is your job as a parent to prepare them for civil society by teaching them manners and polite behavior in all the settings that they are exposed to.<br />
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The long term effects of good parenting will bless you with children who respect you and turn to you for guidance, but at the same time are able to make good choices. But ignoring your children and hoping they will learn to behave somehow from school or other environments will leave you with children who will continually push the boundaries in order to get your attention and feel you care enough about them to notice them. Children who lack boundaries will engage in riskier behaviors in order to figure out where you will finally draw the line. Research backs this up. Children raised by permissive parents show higher rates of risky behaviors.* Why? Possibly because they are trying to get the parent's attention and possibly because they are trying to figure out if the parent cares about them. <br />
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Substituting permissiveness or lax parenting for over parenting is not the answer. Remember that your children want and need your guidance. Remember that your children are a reflection of you. Teach them how to behave in a variety of situations so that they are well prepared for a successful future. Think about the long term effects of the parenting you are doing on a daily basis.<br />
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Follow me at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples" target="_blank">facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples</a> and Instagram @dawnlantero for daily parenting inspiration.<br />
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*For further information, read Dr. Diana Baumrind's Studies on Parenting Styles at the University of California Berkeley.splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-90856720672634878282016-05-17T11:15:00.000-05:002016-05-17T11:15:14.717-05:00Enjoy the Simple Things...<br />
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Yesterday at preschool we planted sunflower seeds in little pots. We put on gloves and used a tiny shovel to fill small pots with soil, and carefully poke the seeds into the soft, black dirt. We were so excited to gently pour water over our newly planted seeds and give them their first drink. Our little faces were so serious as we concentrated on each of these little acts--filling a pot with a shovel, carefully poking our seeds into the soil, slowly pouring the water from our colorful watering cans. Our excitement for the entire process could hardly be contained. And our eagerness to be helpful, coupled with our curiosity at each little step touched deep into my heart.<br />
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It reminded me that childhood is a magical time. Little ones may talk endlessly about Minecraft and Paw Patrol video games, but their desire for real world experiences trumps the virtual world every time! The message is clear. There is a time and place for I-pad or App entertainment, but children covet simple, real world experiences. Don't forget to give them these. Make it a practice to try new things with them. You will discover that when you expand their experiences, you will have a lot of fun in the process. Their joy is contagious.<br />
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Take them on a train ride. Play at a new park. Go to the zoo. Take them to museums and concerts. Visit relatives who live in different areas. Hike in a forest preserve or state park. Go to a sporting event--your local high school or college teams are a great place to find less expensive tickets to competitions. Bake something together. Take a bike ride.<br />
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Time spent with your children is never wasted. Take advantage of their curiosity and enthusiasm and explore the world together making precious memories that will last a lifetime.<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples" target="_blank">facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples</a> splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-7686397752407007562016-04-12T08:08:00.000-05:002018-02-20T07:18:20.551-06:00Teaching Respect Starts Early<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I recently returned from a vacation, and I found myself surrounded by families enjoying time together at our resort. There was one family that I noticed had two lively and active boys...and although their behavior did not bother me or the other guests one bit, I came away feeling very sad for their mother. It was clear that these boys did not respect or listen to her at all--ever. She would have to repeatedly ask them to do things, and then plead with them, and then usually give up...because her words had zero effect on these boys. These situations were repeated over and over again, and I observed them at breakfast or by the pool continually ignoring every word that their mother said.<br />
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So where does this lack of respect come from? I can tell you. It is a combination of factors. The other parent normally plays a role in this. If the father disrespects the mother, the children learn disrespect. And if the mother disrespects the father, the children learn disrespect. And if you, as a parent don't demand that your children listen to you...then you are disrespecting yourself and teaching your children not to listen to your words.<br />
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I felt so sorry for this mom. She was not enjoying the precious vacation time she was sharing with her beautiful boys. She seemed so lonely, and dare I say--pathetic. And thinking about the future, I wondered if these boys would ever see the error in their ways. Would they come to appreciate their loving mother? Would they grow up to be loving partners or disrespect their significant others in future relationships. Had they learned this behavior from their dad? Would the cycle continue?<br />
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The takeaway is that teaching our children to respect us as their loving parents is of paramount importance. It sets them up to form respectful relationships throughout the rest of their lives with teachers, coaches, bosses and loved ones. Don't settle for anything less than loving respect from your children. It takes loads of work, but is well worth the effort.<br />
Like my page at: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples" target="_blank">facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples</a><br />
<br />splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-46581294294948272622016-03-15T09:48:00.000-05:002016-03-15T09:49:23.327-05:00Lessons learned from my young students...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My preschool class has welcomed four new students in the past few weeks. My heart always goes out to these little ones entering a new environment for the first time that is abuzz of activity. But the reactions of my long time students to the new classmates is often times what leaves me humbled and speechless.<br />
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These little three and four year olds are capable of demonstrating such empathy and compassion. I see them ushering our new friends to circle time, making room for them on our carpet, helpfully showing them where to hang their school bag or how to find their mailbox. I see them eagerly taking these new students "under their wing" to help them understand what is going on in the classroom and eagerly approaching them at play time.<br />
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Our world is so full of negativity. We have gotten so complacent about mean spirited behavior. We accept it from our politicians. We are entertained by it on social media, movies and television. We practice it in our daily lives by passing judgement on others, and filling our days with gossip and snarky backstabbing behaviors.<br />
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Our world would be a better place if we reconnected with openness, kindness and empathy that our little ones possess. They give me hope for the future, and we all should take a page from their playbook and adopt it into our daily lives.<br />
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Follow my page at: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples" target="_blank">facebook.com/SplashParentingPrinciples</a>splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-85283031014840415222016-03-08T09:27:00.002-06:002016-03-08T09:27:35.980-06:00#RewritingTheCode for International Women's Day!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In honor of International Women's Day<br />#RewritingTheCode<br />#Momof3Daughters<br />Good Parents focus on <b>education</b>...Lucky Parents have it available to <b>All</b> of their children!</td></tr>
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splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-79179197847872149582016-03-03T13:39:00.003-06:002021-02-05T11:13:33.316-06:00Effective parenting requires a balance of these two elements...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There is wisdom in balance. Keeping the elements of life in balance leads to a calm and peaceful existence. Life with children is rarely characterized as calm and peaceful and with each additional child the chaos can multiply. But balance is an extremely important element of good parenting. <br />
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Research has shown that the most effective parents over time are those who combine <b>nurturing with authority</b>. In other words, parents who are responsive and emotionally connected with their children, but who also play the important role of <b><u><i>authority figure</i></u></b> in their children's lives have been shown over time to raise the most emotionally balanced and less destructive children. For further reading on this research see below*<br />
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Many parents struggle with the authority figure role. Does your child listen to you? Do they follow your rules? Do they respect your words? Do they know that ultimately you are the boss of them until they grow up and leave your house? If not, you have some work to do. <br />
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Children are master manipulators. They know how to push our buttons for sport. They are not as emotionally engaged when we are really angry. And they have an easy time tuning us out if they have learned that we really don't mean what we say. So how can this dynamic be changed? Here are some tips that my husband and I found worked after years of practice.<br />
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<b>1. Have high standards for behavior and communicate those expectations to your child</b>. This means teaching manners and polite social behavior, expecting your child to respect you and his/her teachers and coaches, and in general behaving in a manner that brings happiness and joy to others.<br />
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<b>2. Only say what you mean</b>. Children quickly learn that idle threats mean nothing. If you consistently say that you will do something and then don't do it, you are actively teaching your child to tune you out and worse, not trust your words. Words are so important...spend them wisely.<br />
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<b>3. Don't allow bad behavior to spiral.</b> Nip it in the bud. If your child has begun to back talk or be sassy, you may find it cute or not a big deal at first, but then you get used to it and somewhere along the way you stop noticing it. And then it becomes a problem. We found that it is much better to be proactive about little behavior slips than reactive when behavior has gotten out of control. Make sure that your child knows what it is you expect and then do not tolerate anything less. (for more ideas on positive discipline read this: <a href="http://www.splashparenting.com/2013/03/six-steps-toward-positive-discipline.html" target="_blank">splashparenting.com/2013/03/six-steps-toward-positive-discipline</a><br />
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<b>4. Authority Figures Don't Negotiate!</b> My husband taught me to not accept arguing and whining when we were giving one of our children a consequence for bad behavior. He would calmly remind our child that if he/she argued about the consequence, the consequence would be doubled. This tip worked like magic. If your child knows that a punishment could be doubled, he/she usually reflects on whether the whining and arguing are worth the risk, and the answer is always no!<br />
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Children want and need you to be the parent and for them to be the child. They need their parents to be loving and kind and yet strong enough to earn their respect and teach them self control. It is counter intuitive--we want to give in to our children and let them do, be, and have anything that makes them happy...but by always giving in to their desires we are not teaching them the important skills of self control and showing them that we care enough to set limits--it is a fatal swap--peace in the present for contentment in the future. Giving in to your child's tantrum is teaching your child that tantrums work, and always giving your child everything they want will set them up for a future of discontent. Good parenting requires the healthy balance of loving our children enough to act as the authority in their lives. This means being strong enough to set limits on our children's behavior. Through limits, our children learn self control, and respect for us. Without limits, children continue to push the boundaries looking for where we will finally set the limits. And if we never set limits at all, our children believe that we don't care enough to set them. So practice that balance for healthy and effective parenting. Be the loving, authority in your child's life.<br />
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*http://persweb.wabash.edu/facstaff/hortonr/articles%20for%20class/baumrind.pdf<br />
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<br />splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-31172147967532212362016-02-23T10:53:00.000-06:002016-02-25T10:03:52.140-06:00My Hope for My Children...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As I was walking my dog this morning, I came across this freshly cut tree stump. It caused me to reflect. This stump revealed to me that this tree was healthy and strong. It was not rotting from the inside out. It had laid down ring after ring of years of experiences. My prayer is that if I were to gaze inside each of my children I would see the same thing, that my children are strong and healthy from the inside out. That they have what it takes to weather the winds of this confusing and at times depressing world. That their self identity will continue to support them in their life paths.<br />
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As parents, don't we all hope and pray for this to be the result of our shared time with our children? We all go through the moments and days and years trying to build resilience and strength into our children from the inside out. We want them to lay down rings that speak to their self worth, their talents and abilities, their hopes and dreams. We want their rings to connect to their roots--to us their parents, to their aunts and uncles, and grandparents. The generations of those who walked before us and sacrificed and loved and pushed forward their hopes and dreams and ideals in order that we may become all we were meant to become and in turn grow another generation dedicated to the future hopefulness of our collective existence.<br />
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But forming strong rings in our children requires an element of struggle. Children who have everything provided to them and are expected to contribute nothing, do not grow strong rings. Children who have parents who solve every issue and rush in to always make everything better, do not grow strong rings. As difficult as it is to hear, children grow rings through pain. Children grow rings through struggle. Children grow rings through perseverance and work. Children grow rings through controlled rebellion and parental love, nurturing and authority. Children grow rings through a spiritual life. Children grow rings through valuable friendships and positive social interactions--and sometimes by weathering the storms of disappointment in failed friendships and peer relationships.<br />
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I hope that as parents, we all can understand the value of raising our children to have strong rings and deep roots, for our good and all the good that is to come into each of our children's lives.<br />
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<br />splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-21205901385412978692016-02-16T10:07:00.000-06:002016-02-16T10:22:05.202-06:00REMINDER: Deadpool is NOT FOR CHILDREN!!!!<br />
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Childhood is a wonderful time. It is a time of innocence and pretend play. It is a time for imagination and creativity. It is a time to feel safe and loved and cared for by your parents. Don't selfishly sacrifice this wonderful time in your child's life because you want to see a movie. Don't pretend that you are being "nice" to your child by including him/her in your movie outings that feature content that is not appropriate. Don't let your child grow up too fast...because you don't monitor or limit his/her media exposure. Allowing your child to swear and act like an edgy, rebellious teenager does not make YOU look cool. This isn't about you...it is about your child. Be an adult. Be a parent. Be a protector. Protect your child from dark and inappropriate messages and content.<br />
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Childhood is precious. Childhood is fleeting. Childhood should be protected by a parent who is acting like a superhero...the responsible, caring, unselfish hero that cares about the impacts of his/her actions.<br />
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I was in Target today and as a preschool teacher, and empty nest mother of four, I tend to notice children. Today as I was walking through an aisle, there was an adorable little girl who was joyfully asking her mother to come and see the "big robot!" that she had spied in another aisle. I am guessing she was about three years old. She was so excited about sharing what she saw with her mother, and her mother's reaction? Well let's just say it made me so sad...</div>
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Her mother was engrossed in reading some tag on a novelty candle. Even though the little girl asked repeatedly, the mother did not look at her, answer her, engage with her in anyway. She was completely and 100% ignoring her child. This was not a split second observation. I continued to walk through the store and even from across the store I could still here the child sweetly pleading with the mom to come and see this incredibly exciting robot.</div>
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Could you imagine if, as a preschool teacher I did that to my students? Could you imagine if I treated a friend that way? What gives the parent the right to tune out the words of their child? What gives a parent the right to disrespect this little life that they created by completely, 100% ignoring her? Is the mom bored of being a mom? Is the mom tired of her darling little girl? </div>
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I understand parenting can be taxing. I get that it can be exhausting and boring and repetitive. But if you don't see your children as a blessing to your life. If you can't give them your best self. If you don't have the energy to think about someone else, and sacrifice for that someone else, and be devoted and caring and loving towards that someone else...don't become a parent.</div>
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Parenting requires maturity. Parenting requires sacrifice. Parenting is not easy. Don't become a parent if you aren't committed to being a good one.<br />
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splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-43612038262389138982016-01-19T10:07:00.001-06:002016-01-19T10:07:05.052-06:00Gun Violence and Children--What is a parent to do?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As a preschool teacher, and as a mother, I find myself worried about the violence in our society. Often, I feel a sense of powerlessness when I hear about shootings that are happening with alarming frequency in my city/state/country. I wonder why we are such a gun crazed society that willingly accepts the licensing of our drivers, but radically fights the licensing of our gun owners, requiring gun safety instruction and mental health background checks, and regulating gun sales. Isn't owning a gun just as much of a responsibility as driving a car? But I am not a politician. I am not a powerful lobbyist. I am not a well connected political insider. I am just a mom, and a preschool teacher. So I have decided that there is something I can do.<br />
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I can choose to not allow any type of violence in my home or classroom. I can choose to teach my children and students that violence is never the right answer. I can choose to not spank my children-- because spanking is using violent means to control another person's behavior. I can stop my students from playing pretend games of shooting and throwing bombs, and rather encourage them to create things with blocks, paint pictures with their little hands, put on dress up clothes and pretend they are a mommy or firefighter or chef in the kitchen. I can speak with other parents about the movies we show to our children, and the toys we buy for them. Hopefully, I can make a difference by asking parents to examine their own homes and toy cabinets along with their attitudes about guns and violence. <br />
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Are you glorifying violence in your home? Or are you teaching your little ones to think and create and dream and believe in a brighter future. If our generation cannot figure these problems out, maybe our only hope is in our children. So please raise them to believe that education and creativity and love for one another always trumps violence. No matter what the toy companies want you to believe.<br />
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<br />splashparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16898130812209665771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294307277320436297.post-39588343813672674072016-01-07T09:42:00.003-06:002021-02-08T14:35:03.117-06:003 Parenting Lessons from a Preschool Teacher<br />
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My favorite week of the school year was this week! It is the week after Winter break, and my preschoolers are so happy to be back in school. It always is such a joy to welcome them back to the fun and security of our classroom. But why are young children so thrilled to be back in the classroom? It seems counterintuitive to think they would actually prefer a classroom to time at home to play with their own toys, and have the attention of their own parents and siblings. The reasons are clear to me after many years of teaching...and they are the secrets that parents can benefit from. If parents take the time to understand these lessons, they can offer their children a happier childhood. Sounds like a pretty big promise, but from years of experience, I can guarantee these lessons are timeless and effective:<br />
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LESSON 1: ROUTINES: Children thrive on routines. They understand them. They feel confident when they understand things. They feel secure and happy when they know what to expect.<br />
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PARENTING ACTION: Give your child the benefit of following a routine at home. A daily schedule offers your young child the same benefits that we see at preschool. Children like to know what their day will look like, what they will be doing, who will be caring for them, where they will be going. Often times, we parents drag little ones around from here to their and don't realize that they might want or need to know what the day will bring. <br />
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LESSON 2: COMMUNICATION: Children benefit from spoken language. Everyday in our classroom, we spend our time talking and listening to our preschoolers. We ask them questions and encourage them to verbally share their ideas. We wait for them to "use their words" rather than respond to a pointed finger. We play games and have "show and tell" where they have to speak in front of their peers. We celebrate them finding their voices--each at their own pace. We offer them a safe environment for taking verbal chances. No one will ignore or laugh at them when they speak. We are eager to communicate with them. <br />
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PARENTING ACTION: The more <b>conversations</b> you have with them, the better--and <b>conversations</b> include listening to them speak back to you. Research has clearly shown that children who converse with their parents beginning at an early age have higher vocabularies and over time perform better in school. You are establishing important patterns for your children when you take the time to converse with them.<br />
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LESSON 3: PLAYTIME: Children need play. It is their "work". They learn from it. They need time to imagine and create and experiment. This week we had our sand table open and they flocked to it like bees to a garden. They couldn't stay away. Next week it might be blocks or the train table or legos. In any case, they relish playtime. They want to interact, and create, and enjoy time playing with others. We have NO ELECTRONICS in our classroom--and they don't ever ask for anything related to online gaming. They need real experiences...not screen time.<br />
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PARENTING ACTION: Allow time for your children to play. Dragging them from one activity to the next until they are exhausted is not enriching their lives as much as simple playtime. They need time to play. They need playdates with other children or cousins or neighborhood friends. They need time to pretend and create and relax and imagine and dream. They do not need more apps on your smart phone. Value real experiences and steer away from virtual playthings. Children need real interactions and real experiences. There will be plenty of time for online experiences later.<br />
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Being a preschool teacher is such a joy. I am so blessed to be able to share moments of happiness and learning with these precious little ones. I hope that through my observations, you will be inspired to give your little one more of what he/she truly needs.<br />
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